hehehhe... wanna show off summore... this is an article about the incubus concert that came out in Berita Harian of SIngapore... heheheh.. :D

hey everyone out there whose watching the world... please sit up side down and see whats going on in the mist... or shut your mouth and catch the light show with your sore eyes...

for today i just bought my very own digicam... it's my first digicam ever... what's the big deal..?? hahahah.. i dont know.. it's nothing actually but i just want to show off... it is alright..?? i think so... coz i'm a hipster unconsciously... huhuhu... i've taken some pictures to test it... seems like i have to learn more and practice my photo skills... demm ayat poyo...

ok... i'm not in the mood of writing long but no substance sentences.. i think i'll just ended it here for today...

go out and shit the world... it's so damn dirty that if you dont take the chance, u might be too late for it...

i'm counting UFO's says Brandon... but how can he do it..? how is it possible to count UFOs?? and what the fuck is it for..? there's no point of it... there's no urgent value to it coz UFO's dont really exist at this point of time... and why am i argueing it? for the same reason here i dont know what is it for... it's just me who dont have any good points to come out with...

well perhaps there is some explaination for my doings.. for me to talk trash at this moment... for every reason i pointed out with full certainty, the uncertainty itself widens... it's the core of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle... coz we humans would never be certain about just anything in this world... to compensate this, people come out with ideas about fate and coincidence and about luck and destiny... are you really sure about your fate..?? is it becoz of destiny that you, right now are reading my rantings..?? is it becoz of pure luck that you ever get to where you are standing rite now...?? the chances are zero... coz the multi directional environment of three dimension itself is confined in the space-time continuum... what the fuck am i talking about....

in space-time reality, our mind works according to the rules that we ourselves set... the rules that govern all the physical happenings.... as we define the science that underlies beneath everything that occurs around us in a daily basis, we fail to see the things that are, to us, appears as metaphysics... things that our brain can interprete but cannot understands.. the driving force behind miracles and magics... the Force itself plays a major role in establishing our comprehension towards the true nature of human understanding... so now where am i heading..?

i'm trying to map out my thinking right now... if you think that it is somewhat abstract then print it out and put it in frames... hold an exhibition of some kind... and invite those people of arts to come and appreciate it, or rather bang on it...
sometimes i think every human minds have the same pattern... but with time, the pattern gradually reshape it self and goes on its own evolution route... to reach a distinctive form... in order to fully work with the body of the user...

in a poetic manner, i try to move myself around... gracefully and without much hesitation... as if i'm floating around in the ether... a massless body would be very nice... but without mass, can a body contains soul..? how can soul be dependent on the body that much..? cut the soul into half and experiment it with another body... do they share the same characteristics?? will they act on their own will or will they move in synchoronous to each other?... and what's the definition of soulmate if there ever was a soulmate for each of every pathethic souls on this shallow earth..?

we always amazed at how things work in this universe of us.. we adores the beauty of stars and interstellar bodies... we admires the the perfect creation of things... nothing is flawless... but still we wonders why it has to be that way..? little that we realize it should be that way... otherwise we will never be here if it dont be like the way it should be... there will be no us to admire at these things if everything was not like the way it is... the anthropic principle... we should realize this... or is it so hard to accept that everything was made for the sake of our existence..?? why..?? the answer is i dont know... religiously speaking, it's God's will... so we as a humble creature should be thankfull to Him...

with that i think i can sleep happily... and hoped that i can dream about going back in time..

???????????????????

ah... the heat just woke me up... it's 5 o'clock and the heat just wont go away and disperse into the dark morning... where is the coolness been hiding all this while..? dont just leave us here like this with the heat tailing us everywhere we go... it's just damn uncomfortable to know that the heat had taken over the game... come on coolness... where are you... come ride with us... i'm beginning to miss you... to miss your presence.. your presence would bring comfort into me... my eyes grew wide upon you... you are my true companion who have lost in the midst of things overheated...

the earth keep on revolving on it's axis... but i'm straying out of this world... amazed at the beautiful stars that piled up together as if they are bouquets of galactic flowers... flowing down the Milky Way, the breath taking view of the Orion Nebula shivers me... how i wish i could pluck it and give it to someone who deserved it... the blooming nebula glows in pink red and blue... the colours of attractions... the contrast feeling represented by its colours... just the perfect interstellar rendition of my emotions...

humm... today is nothing... but a few days ago were really something... here goes...

Malaysia's 11th General Election had passed by and BN receive a tremendous success and a massive mandate to lead the country once again... but in the aftermath, one state still in despair and that is Kelantan, my beloved yet forsaken home...
well i went back to exercise my rights and with that i'm officially have the qualifications to critisize things... and i've been whining about how far my state was left out and that a change must be done in it... and so this time i'm taking some actions to try to change it by casting my votes... but still... all i can do is just wait another five years to hope for another chance of change... for this time people of Kelantan still wasnt wise enough... eventhough there was a breakthrough... and so the hope is high... some words to PAS... owh just please let go of Kelantan... you've embrace heaven in your hands so why dont you just leave this piece of land to us, mere mortals who are uncertain about our fate in the afterlife... what do you want with this fatamorganic ( is there such a word..?? ) pile of earth..?? you dont even bother to give your attention to it but yet you still want to fight for it... where's the concept of "redha" here..?? hmmm

well put politics aside...

humm last nite... went to FCM nite... it's a dinner at Cyberview lodge... and it was so awesomely great... the theme is 'The Promise of Swing' and swing was what we get... just look at the pictures here and just imagine how fun was it... hehehe....

good... ciao...

hur....... my late post after the incubus concert... i dont want to review it coz it will hurt me... it will make me sad becoz everything's in the past... huhuhu... so just take a look at these pictures at http://apik.fotopages.com

hiii... just woke up at 1 pm... and then suddenly i have the mood to write in something...

actually i'm feeling a bit happy yet melancholic... i dont know... the feelings keep on contrasting each other... maybe it's the effect of last nite's show, the Perfume Garden Communal Gathering at Mokhtar's house... it is really amusing to think what beautiful music can do to your soul... how it can touch you and leave something that makes you ponder about yourself... ok enough about that... let me review the gig...

As its name propose... the gig was not like any typical gig... it truely was a communal gathering... upon entering his house i could see some kids running around in the red Perfume Garden t-shirt... an then i saw a group of old (our parents generation) folks talking to each other... an then there's those familiar faces we can see at gigs... it really impressed me... the vibes was really harmonious... then we went on to the 'stage' where the performance will be held... it's not really a stage though... it was a tent set up at the side entrance of his house... to those who are used to Mokthar's house, you should know which one... so under the shelter was everything a music stage should have... quoting a performer who said, it was a fairy tale setting... hhahahah.. yeap it was true.. Mokhtar really had done a great job... the sound system was great and the ambience was perfect for a show like this...

the show started at 6.30 with the opening act from the guys of Soft Touch.. you know those guys... a 60 something guy who played guitar and harmonica and a women on the keyboard... they've played in RTW3 if i'm not mistaken... their set was good as a warming up... and then we had a break for about 30 minutes to give way for the maghrib prayers... after that, the second performance was irman's new band... i didnt get their bands name but they are really good... showing off their own brand of post rock... i really like em... owh by the way, loque of Butterfingers play bass for them... ( and i get to shake hands with himm... wawawa...)

next was a young group that i also didnt get their bands name... they have a guitar player, a violin and two percussion players ( it's indians traditional percussion, maybe tabla and bongo i guess... i'm not sure what they are called.. heheh )... at first i thought they are going to play something ethnic, but once they started, my mind was blown away.... i dont know what they call their music but it was really pleasant and refreshing.... it's not really rock but it also not ethnic... it just great music... i like the violin the most... very melodic and really nice.... plus, they were still young... wawawa really talented aaa those guys...

after that was Sara Lo's band... ( well Sara Lo is Jason Lo's sister... but way cooler than he is )... her pleasant voice really makes me wanna cry... ahahaha... their songs was groovy and at the same time mellow enough to melt your heart... honestly... ok after her, came in a guy with an acoustic guitar... his name was Az and my first impression on him was not so good... at first i thought he was going to sing some crappy mellow Malay songs on his acoustic guitar... but once he started doing his thing, all of my skepticism went away and i started to like him... by the time he's doing his last song, i began to worship him... hahaha... okay why...? first of all he is A Samad Said's son... second he plays the guitar like no one... he plucks the strings like playing a six string bass but at the same time he can strum in a really harmonious notes... he even managed to add some groove by beating on the guitar's body... so basically he can use one acoustic guitar to sound like three different instruments... and what more, he didnt even sing... he's showmanship was also great... by this time, i was wondering... where the hell did Mokhtar find these guys... these great performers... i never thought that this kind of people exist here on this side of the world... hahahah... exaggerating..??? nahhh.... it's true...

okay after that a band called Lurks took the stage... but we didnt pay much attention to them actually coz we were busy taking pictures of us... hahaha... but i think they were great also... actually they intend to perform an electronic set, having theramin, keyboards and all but only two members can make it that night so they decided to perform an acoustic set instead... well nevertheless the crowd applause them...

the last show was from Shelley Leong and her band... okay... i think i need no intro about this... Shelley Leong was a hit already... so was her performance last nite.... her nice voice kept me glued to my seat and her pretty face kept my eyes focused on her... hahahahah... err and then a girl name Zal..?? or Haz..?, err i cant remember her name, was the special guest that night performing on demand... Mokhtar's mom wanna hear her singing coz she likes her voice...

so there you have it... the Perfume Garden communal gathering delivering its scents... a very pleasant one... though some of the acts didnt make it that nite but what we didnt expect was that the show was really great and a job well done... sometimes when we least expect something, we will be surprised by how things turn out to be.... and for once, we realize that great music shouldnt be experienced by moshing around.. instead we have to sit and enjoy it loosely and calmly... a gig is not about hard or loud music only... maybe this is what Mokthar intended to convey the message... and he did it grand-ly.... well the crowd maybe not a big one but still everybody was satisfied that nite... and perhaps they would also giving out this message to others... just like me now... hahhahah...

well... i got some picture on this here at http://apik.fotopages.com

so thats it...

huh...

it's 5 o'clock in the morning... thursday morning... it's drizzling outside... the raindrops are small and lightweight... i just walked through it and it felt like something was tapping on my shoulders with a soft and caring gestures... but somehow i can feel that it was a sad one... the drizzles are like cold tears... a tear that have been going on for ages until the heat was lost already... and the ground was like bleeding with water... the flow was slow as if the water was very thick... thick with all the emotions thats been going on, on the surface of it... somehow the raindrops managed to absorb all of it and washed it away... owh the emotion... with its departure it promise a comeback... always... with the sun shining brightly it will turn up the heat again... imbueing everything with its fury...

well i dont know... the weather really effect us emotionally... its a myth perhaps but thats what im feeling... the rain signify what im feeling rite now... im killing my time... wasting time is not a sin if you cant do something with it at the moment... everyone is sleeping and im stuck here typing out words that i myself dont know where it come from... its called spontaneus writing of an idle mind... let your fingers dance on its own...

i want to sleep... i hope i can sleep... but i hope i can still wake up tomorrow... i still want to continue my pathetic little life... its something i cannot choose... i cant even choose my motive... my life is not mine... i cant have a full control over it.... why..? coz i keep thinking that i cant do anything right for now... everything good seems to go pass me and find someone else.... its everything in my mind... i can behold that super power that once i believed i had... for when you are once at the top without having to do anything and then suddenly you found out that you are lying under a giant's foot, pressed deeply into the ground, then you might have that psychological effect of losing hope on yourself... and believing that you've been there once... so its enough already... and accepts your current state... and with that everything you ever dreamed of going higher will just sweeps away...

i have nothing to lose right now coz i have nothing to believe on... and i've lost everything when i had things to believe... how ironic...

hmm... i shud be working on my assgmt actually at this moment... but somehow i aint got the mood yet... owh hell... i never have the mood to do something that relates to my studies... hahaha... heck i need to change.. i gotta change...

urgh currently listening to time lapse consortium's rendition of A Certain Shades of Green... damn so good... arghh... cant wait for the 16th to come... but i got a submission on the 14th... kinda hope that 14th is 'after' 16th... but it's good though... coz i can enjoy the concert without having to think about work anymore... or so i think...

hmm... for the past few days i'm beginning to feel that something was going on in me that i am not ready to comprehend yet... well its just the feeling... its not quite certain... and when everything is going according to what i wish for, something strange will happen... suddenly the past revisited me.. not that i dont wanna remember it but for this moment i just dont want to be reminded... for now my view is facing forward and everything behind me will go unnoticed.... i might lose the chance of getting what i want before... well perhaps it would be great if it happens... but not now... the timing was always not right... well theres still this faint hope in me wishing that it will someday come true but that's what i've been trying to do now... trying to eliminate it totally... well today it let me know that it still exist and would burst into flame if i dont handle it quickly... or perhaps i need that 'fire extinguisher' to decisively eliminate it... owh but then again i found out that i have some trouble in handling this so-called 'fire-extinguisher'... my instinct tells me that i've found it... but i just dont know how to obtain in... needless to say that i dont know how to handle it properly even if i can get a grip on it... but i really really do think that its the perfect one... owh god help me find a way...

heck you might be thinking that i'm such a sensitive pathetic little prick that cannot handle even those tiny interruption.... hell yeah i'm sensitive... so what do you know about being one..? i'm sensitive coz i need to be... so that i wont get hurt really badly... a kind of homeopathic treatment for my soul/heart... had a pinch of pain to counter that great pain... for some, homeopathy was not a good idea afterall... but i find it as very interesting and worth a try... hahahaha...

have you ever think of changing yourself... changing your routines and attitudes... mainly towards a better one... to be the person who follow standards and all.... and when you are trying to do it, everything seems to hold you back... obstacles are everywhere... just popping out of nowhere... none of these happens when you are ignorant... but its your conscience that revealed those.... owh and of coz singular effort wont make it... when your shout for help there's nothing except your voice echoing back to you... true... you have to make it yourself... but motivation comes in form of solid entity that you can see and reach out... for if somebody come to you when you really in need, it will appear as angel... coming down to earth, shadowing you with its mighty wings...

i want to change... i am ready to change... but as always, i hate the effort... i'm somebody with no effort at all... can i gain it..? we'll see... maybe i'm the only person in this world who dont like to do things with effort... having no effort is totally different from being lazy... laziness is a term used for people who dont even want to do things... but effortless is someone who wants to do things but dont have the effort... both are bad but being effortless is something that will appear as kool... well thats my opinion... for me its enough if i can do something.... i mean i can DO it... not being exceptional or outstanding... i dont care if i'm good, what matters is that i can do it... and this wont fit in todays social paradigm... what society of today are aftering for is the outstanding accomplishment... the success... the pinnacle of your life when you are higher than everyone else... and people acknowledge you as a super person... none of this takes account the contentment factor... who are you to justify someones success if the person himself thinks that what he have today is enough... eventhough its not outstanding or spectacular...

the difference between being outstanding and being satisfied is that, you will never feel the contentment of doing something if you keep on craving to be the best, to be the greatest and thus you will never progress from that particular field... ironically, if you crave for satisfaction, then you will have the fun and enjoys doing it, whilst you are ready to jump into another field to discover your capabilites and potential... owh crap... this is so crappy... think i 'll stop here before somebody comes to me and gave me a punch on the face as a reality check for me...

those are my just my cognitive view on what happening around me... i dont expect people to accept it... and i dont even care if you hate me for that...

stop... here...

owh dear saturday....

i went to a gig today... making it free by posing as crewman (kuli) for SWA... hahahaha... hmm.. SWA arrived the latest but started as the opening act... delivering only 2 songs... but its their new songs with Smek using his synthesizers... the songs were very different from their previous compositions... and they were great...

then we stayed to check out Lucy In The Loo... they were ultimately awesome... their songs were catchy and Hana's voice was beautiful... but sadly they were not in a complete line up.. there's sessionists on drums and guitars... cant wait to see them performing again and with full original line up... it would be great... after their set finished, we leaved and headed to BB to chill out...

nothing more to say... not in a really good mood actually... kind of thinkng... but i cannot write it... coz its strange.. i'm feeling everything strange... weird... arghh...

whoaa...

so my group didnt win the treasure hunt thingy... hahahaha... like i care... it's not a big deal... we've had a very fun time... thats it...

humm... the cabinets resolved.. and we will face the 11th election soon... on the 21st March precisely... well i gotta be at home to cast my first ever vote... and i really hope that this one vote will bring a difference to my beloved but dull hometown... i say dull coz there's no real progress happening in Kelantan rite now... in fact we are going backwards and totally set aback... i really hope that this time BN will win and hopefully can bring some light of hope and some fresh air into the state... hahaha... talking politic rite..?? yes i do like to talk about it... coz i cant be ignorant bout this.. those PAS people are damn corrupted fake ulama.... i know that they are all wise and all knowing prick about Islam but they cant take advantages on those naive people... owh and those few on the top are the real ulama... but those not so important ass-licking people at the bottom who goes around wagging their shitty tails are not ulama at all... but they do hide behind the Islamic cloak... saying this and that with some hint of religious words... owh how good they are at playing with words... but when the responsibilities were given to them, they just toy around with it... damn cruel bastards... i hate each and everyone of you fuckers... step down and let the know-how do the work... hahaha... hatred took over me... i'm sorry... i cant stay calm... i cant give out opinion without being emotional... i'm not cool at all... damn me and damn PAS...

ok ok ... stop talking bout politics or i'll make you all throw up...

hmm...

what a fun day i have today...

well started my day as early as 8 o'clock... went to the only class for today... thanks for the wake up call...

after the class i got immersed into designing my version 5.0... took a couple of hours.... but there's still some more tweaking i need to do... i know the mouseOver button wasnt a good idea afterall... hahaha... well i'll fixed that later..

then during the evening at 8 pm, i took part in one of the college fest activity, that is Pirate Hunt... well it's a tresure hunting but with some twist... if you watched Amazing Race then you'll get the idea... so we have to form a group of six and we were given a map of the hostel area..( but actually the map resembles the Middle Earth kind of map... and very confusing... heheh )... which shows each checkpoint that we have to go... and at each checkpoint we have to play some little game in a certain given time... after finishing it or after the time's up, marks will be given and then we have to look for 4 jigsaw puzzle parts around the checkpoint... so we have to collect 24 pieces of the jigsaw puzzle from the six checkpoints and then return to the starting point to work on the puzzle...

my group consists of 3 guys and 3 girls... me, afiq( yeap you read it right, another afiq ), fariq, nana, lin and adib... and we have done our best to complete all the tasks and to find all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle... but we only managed to find 19 and our puzzle was not really completed... but still we earned some marks... but i think our group did well compared to others..( hehehe )... we didnt really hope to win actually coz we had so much fun playing the game... of coz at some point when we got frustrated coz we couldnt find the pieces... and some of the pieces were thrown away by other groups... darn dirty tactics... heck we even found a piece way beyond the specified area... but it's okay... we are proud with our effort... hahahaha

there were some groups who complained becoz they could only managed to find some pieces... well perhaps they took this game too seriously.... hahaha... after the game finished there's a some kind of debriefing and this one guy complained so much and the situation got a little aroused but we just went infront of him and took some picture with him still babbling on the background... hahaha... cant wait to see the pic...

all and all we had a great time.... tomorrow the results will come out... it will be so cool if our team wins... hahaha...

i think that's all... well done...

hahaha...

behold... my latest layout.. version 5.0....

well it's a bit weird for me to use green and pink... but i think they blend well....

it's the lunar module of Apollo missions... i just adore it since i was a kid.... the greatest achievement of modern humans...
no matter what you think, space exploration is a must... hehehe

ok...

sometimes...

when you ponders about things that happens around you... you might end up in awe... for you can never guess what's in store for you in the future... always you think that things happened for a reason but which is which would be pretty impossible to know... and so you can just sit there and wish for the best.... or so it seems...

there are times when you think there's nothing can be done to help you get out of the things that made you fall into the deep dark hole of misery but when you suddenly realize that the hole has a brighter ending you just not ready to adapt to it... for you have already set yourself to bear the misery and get along with it... and not in any circumstances that you prepare for the ultimate opposite... coz you just simply accept everything that already happened...

hence you trembles when something totally unpredictable happen and you are confused with what to be done... correctly and beneficial to you... but gradually you'll come up with a super perfect solution to it and depends on how much you want to take the risk, the time taken will maybe effect your final outcome...

well perhaps you think everything is co-incidents... and so you can provide the best excuse for your unreadiness... but truely what happened before influenced the future happenings... the timeline wont always be straight and sometimes when it reaches the turning point, it bends... no matter how much you try to straighten it up it wont be back on the same track anymore... totally freaky... how time wont cooperate with you... for the price of none.... you get the time for free but you can never get redemption from the time you've wasted... irony invades our life in every way...

for more... you never ask things to be the way it is... things just come to you rolling when you least expected it... owh how perfect and simple life is isnt it... damn those dreams... life is much more complicated than your nerve system... heck... one way to make it simple is to be ignorant... ignore everything until everything got twisted and you twist your head to get over with life... and explore the realm of afterlife... go beyond life... if you hate life so much....

hahaha.... i'm of the limit this time... stop...

humm...

it's been a while since i last update my blog...

my brain is frying... not becoz i'm using it to it's max or what-so-ever but it's becoz of the weather... it's ulti-fucking-mately hot... literally and figuratively... it's already 2 o'clock in the morning and i still cant feel any coolness... what's going on with the world... why is it so hot here... or is it me..?? coz maybe i've done lots of sins and god might wanna give me some sample of hell... hehehe... perhaps... this is somewhat way too minute against the mighty hell fire...but still i couldnt stand it... so it's just horrifying to think about hell at this moment... argh... some bath might comfort me... maybe for a while until i'm managed to get some sleep...

well perhaps i should write up about what i've been doing during the last weekend instead of babbling bout the heat... hehah... well it's a bit too late though for that... and i'm not in the mood of writing something good and thoughtful... but then i think i should write something about it that's worth mentioning...

and so i went back to malacca last friday nite... hitching a ride with Caki coz his going back to his home... well my ol'mates there've been babbling bout me not visiting them since i got transfered... well folks it's not that i dont want to but i just dont have the time and budget ( furthermore i'm like hating malacca...got some issues there... hahahah.. kerek nye ).. and so when i heard bout there's some major events happening and some of my frens are participating i try to make it and so managed to... good for u all... hahaha... i'm sounding important to u guys aint i...?? well i know i'm not...

on saturday i just 'lepak' at 17th studio... what is that..?? simply a house... nicknamed after the network workgroup in the house... it's where i stayed before... well nothing happened that day...

and so on sunday there's a MMUsic Workshop on guitar, bass and drum... it's an interesting event organized by the MMUsic Society... but maybe becoz of some managerial complications it's not so well done and the attendance was a bit dissappointing... nonetheless the knowledge that you gain was somewhat valueable and inspiring... i'm not going to describe to you what's everything about the workshop cause simply it's a waste of time... and i'm a bit lazy on describing things... hahahah.... and perhaps i'm not a good descriptive writer...

during the night SPARCS Talentime was being held at the main hall and Odei was participating in it with his band, Veronica... the cynically-called rockstars of MMU malacca... ehhehe... well he said this is the last time he's performing with the band coz there would be no more Veronica after this... hmmm... what a loss... well his band did well and got second runner-up title for bands category... ( aku balik melaka semata mata nak sapot korang... tak sesia... hihhoo )

the event was so high profile by chance... they got MAS, Nokia and Tourism Malaysia among the sponsors... the hall was decorated to look like a Hiburan Minggu Ini stage... hehehe... that means i'm not inspired by the decorations... and the 'talents' that were shown was not even original instead just being a mere copy of other people's skills... skills can be learned but talents must come naturally... hehehe... but how much crappy it was i still enjoyed myself laughing at those wannabes... indeed there's some real talents and i gave a big sincere applause to them by standing on a chair and shouting... good for themm.... it's hard to earn my silly acknowledgement you know... hehehe.... and oh yeah... there's Teh Tarik Crew as guest artist and Mizz Nina was totally hot... though i dont like TTC collectively but i think i should give the credit to hot Mizz Nina... hahaha... i'm a guy okay... we like to look at hot chicks... owh... that nite was a hot chicks galore... so many of them... what a miracle... hahahha... good gracious me...

well by now the heat is all over my body... and i think i have to take a bath at 2.49 am... got to be comfy to feel sleepy... you know what i mean..??

:: skip thinking and i'll be dumb ::