I Shot The Shooting Star

As i walk up the isle, i saw this little bird running so hard as if it tried to gain momentum so that it can take off... but it forgot one thing, that its wings still didnt have any feathers... and yet it tried and tried until suddenly it collapse and stop breathing...

I waited for a moment to see if it will stand up again, but nothing happened, even the falling leaves dangles in the air and as i bow down i noticed that i couldnt move my hand... I cried out loud, on top of my lung, still the air freezed my voice...

The moon was smiling upon me for the sickness that i was going through... a motion sickness, a sickness where i couldnt move at all... i wanted to move...

I'm smiling right now.... confused... a contrast in the making... is it me who juggles the happiness between these two places... or is it fate that is stirring the calm surface and laugh at the blooming ripples...

I am happy here... oh how i thank you... but there, i'm miserable... stop this!

Perhaps, it will always be a two way trade...

<3 HuHu...

Fuck Sem 1 2004/2005

Damn it... i think i'm regretting things right now...
the whole first trimester... it was a mistake...
well, lots of mistakes...

Mistakes that i dont think i can correct...
mistakes that i think i should had never done...
oh holy shit! i'm miserable right now... just by thinking about it...
i really feel that i should control myself...
why cant i withstand the solitude...?
i should have, coz i'm like used to it...
but why?

stupid people, those are the fanatics....
those who thinks that they are always right...
that they are always the one who should tell you what to do...
you are stupid...
coz you think that everyone have to befriend you...

well, sometimes, i used people for my own good...
it is something common... i think, everyone do it...
you used people so that you can do the right job...
so that you can achieve what you want...
it is necessary...
dont say that you never do it you fucking morons!!!

and if then, i turned into something else...
if then i dont do what i normally do...
i dont care and you shouldnt fucking bother...
well normality is only from your point of view...
actually i never stick to habits...
i change... change is exciting...
habits/routines are so fucking boring...

oh... what the fuck am i doing writing like this... its not a poem... well, angst ridden poem if you emo geeks wants to call it... oh one more thing, you dont just go around and being emo all the time, even to your friends, coz its fucking sickening... what the fuck are you? stop being emo to people who isnt emotionally related to you! fuck that... your friend is your friend and we dont spell friendship as emotion, we spell it as F.R.I.E.N.D.S.H.I.P....

but then again, there were things that was exciting in that trimester... i know... and all that things i do cherish 'em... one thing i know for sure, those good things give me happiness up until just right about now...

hahahahha... sleep will do it... fuck sem 1 2004/2005

<3 HuHu!

It's like First Breath After Coma

Hmmm...
On 14th January we went to MMU Melaka to perform at the Tribute to Tsunami Victims Charity Concert... were invited by MMUsic Mlk through Eema and Muna personally so we just couldnt resist that... thanks Eema and Muna... and thanks to Mufizah Mufatso for giving us a two way free ride... we owe you big time!

The show was fun! Despite of being sorrowful, we had a bit of fun... hahaha... am i turning into somekind of a rockstar? coz i was like, really felt good and happy when i'm on stage... (argh sangat poyo ayat ini!!) hahahah... but nonetheless, it was damn good, but i'm not talking about the sound or our performance coz both were sucky... hehehe

After the show we had our dinner cum laughing party at Restoran Kota Laksamana... oh how i miss those super duper damn good asam pedas... wahahah... oh... (dan asam pedas tu sangat panas lit lit...)

But the most important thing is that, the happy feeling is different this time around... if you still remember, i've always said that happiness is nothing if you cant share it with someone special or meaningful to you... and so right now, the happy feeling is everything and meaningful coz i get to share it with someone who is very dear to me... wahahaha... and it is breathtaking, it is like having a first breath after coma!!!! <3 HuHu~~!!

Raw Rock Kills....

lately i'm having this trouble... of finding about things to write.... lately i dont have anything interesting to share...

i just dont have the idea... i'm like lost... lost in words... well actually... i think i'm lost in you...

thats why i dont have to write about my depressing thought anymore... thats why i dont have to whine in this blog anymore... thats why i dont have to contemplate about my reasons of existence anymore...

coz i have this one simple remedy that can cure me and my sickening mind... just by looking at you... just by touching you...

maybe i'm sounding like someone who is deeply in love... but well... yes i am... it is the best thing, it is the best feeling, it is the most fun thing to do... to spend time with you...

right now i'm like, missing you... i'm wondering, what did you do, or how did you do it? making ten minutes last forever... even for a single second, the thought of you will make my heart beats faster....

i love you... lots and lots...

(post ini adalah untuk prektis menjadi seorang yg jiwang... hahahah... adakah sangat jiwang?? aku rasa mmg sangat... sila tunjuk ajar...)

Black Eye Piss

i think i'll just stay in my room today... i think i'm bored like a baby in the cradle... i think i dont have anything to think about... i think i miss my mom... i think she missed me too...

we meet people, we get to know people, we become friends, and we lost them... it is something common... and later you'll call it acquaintance... its just a hye and bye... or some other friendly gestures...

so dont worry, dont ever freak out about losing someone you know... or dont be afraid about losing someone who once had some interest in you, coz its a common occurences... but if you're like regretting for letting the chances pass by you then its your mistake...

to say chances are rare, it will be exaggerating, but to let go chances is something you should really consider first... coz maybe it will be too late for you...

i'm pissed... hahaha... or should i go to pee right now??

Kids Dont Fall Off and Cry!

and yes, they do feel pain but they think its just fun to have bruises while playing in the park... and they seems to dont care if the bruises will go away or will stay... as a memento... and when they're old enough they'll learn to appreciate the scars... its those scars that taught them... or perhaps, its those scars that give them experience...

scars sometimes fade away... and scars sometimes will stay for the rest of your life.. its how you perceive it... should the scars play their parts, you decide... if you are to add more scars then you'll do exactly what u've did... you know the pain, but if you dont care about the pain then do it over and over again until you cannot bear with it anymore... it is a hard way of learning...

lessons in life is learnt by action, not theory, nor reading... you have to practically experience life to know what is life... and at the end you dont have the time anymore to relive your life according to what you've learned... coz by the time you know how life works then it is at the end of your journey.... so really, life itself is a lifelong research... and you only have one sample of life to study, that is your own... how pathetic...

i know... you'll just be fine... coz i've been there... i've whine a lot... and still am... i'm a whiner... and right now i just want to be a winner... fuck yeah!

Simply... New Year..

oh its two thousand five already...
a year where there should be flying cars everywhere, where buildings are floating with the clouds, where space travelling is the new internet, where only one government rule the planet, where robots make a living, and self reproduce, where aliens are citizens and where everything is not ordinary....

but the truth is, the world is still the same, the palestinians are still fighting for their homeland, the cars still crawls on the ground, space travelling is still killing people directly or indirectly, and peace is becoming lesser and lesser...

the truth is, human civilisation cant progress anymore... its reaching its limit, its stalemate... oh... fuck that all...

lets talk about what i did on new year's eve...

hahaha its funny actually to think about it again... well actually i set up a plan for my old friends from high school to get together and have a jolly good time here in putrajaya... the plan was that we gather in MMU at ten and then go find a spot to spend the nite around putrajaya... but as always, the plan failed... hahahah... so it went helter skelter, everyone was like very late and we couldnt agree on where to meet up... and when we met, we began to fight with each other, and i even made one of my friends cry... hahaha how terrible i was, for that i greatly sorry... dear elisa, i'm sorry for that, i know i talk too direct, but its just that i was overcome by anger, hahaha shit me... you should smack me on the face when you got the chance...

so we met up at Hassan's Side Walk Cafe first... and while i was waiting for them, Huda Yusoff and her friends came, hahaha i know you missed me! but then they had to take off and went home coz they're still in their teen years! ish ish budak budak mana bley lepak sampai lewat malam! hahahaha.... then Nipah, Jeghi and Bijal arrived, and Nipah was like going to eat me coz he's so mad... ahahah i'm sorry again... but then after i gave my excuses, then its okay again... hahaha...

later Elisa, Tett, Azah and her bf that i didnt get his name arrived and i start to go mad and blaming Elisa, and thats when she started to cry... hahahaha... pity you! i'm sorry again!... argh!!... and we have no idea on where to go... after some trash talking and a drink, i insisted on going to the Jambatan Tiang Sebatang in front of the MOF... and it was really a good idea indeed...

we did have fun there... we reminisced the time we had during high school, hurt each other, poked at each other, laughed at each other, took pictures, did some somersault( oh or was it just me doing that? ), shouted the new year wishes at the passing cars, and faught each other all the way... hahahah... it was very very fun, really, it made me missed the good old times again, ohhhhh....

but well, all in all, i have to accept the fact that it is 2005 now... and right now i have a very long list of resolution for this year, and i dont want to list it down coz i know i wont be able to fulfill it... hahaha...

and all i know right now is that i love huda yusoff, i love my whole family, i love afifi abdullah, i love ruhaniza ramza ramli, i love hanifah hussein, i love elisa roslan, i love huzailee hussin, i love zuhairy hashim, i love syed ismail, i love shahril amin, i love hasanul hariz, i love all of my close friends, whether from school or from mmu... and i love being with you guys... huhuhu...
(this whole paragraph is so lame!! ahahahha)

and go check out the pics taken at my fotopages... yes tq...

thanks 2004, welcome 2005...