todays saturday... and tomorrows sunday... and its nuzul quran... and the following monday will be a holiday... owhhhh... a very looong weekend... i have to pretend that i enjoy weekends... ahahah.. if not i'll be in a big troublesome moody state... ahahah.. i dont want that...

well.. not much to say.. just feeling like dreaming... being in a spaceship with a girl looking out of the window fixing the eyes on the ring of saturn.. how awesome... ahahaha... and witnessing the birth of a star.. of course thru some sort of a telescope coz u cannot get near it... hmmm

ahahaha... nerdy nerdy

well..
its 13th of ramadhan.. and here i am.. still the same me... so much for my spiritual healing..

well...
perhaps whats changing is... my emotional state.. it is healing...

well..
i'm just wondering... what is becoming with this world... you see.. people kill people... they do it just as if they are crushing roaches.. well figuratively... its like those people are somekind of trash and their lives arent worthy at all...

i think.. we are not in the real timeline.. we are in a different timeline.. an alternate one.. where something in the past had changed the course of humankind and the time continuum... something had altered the history somewhere and projected us all into this uncertain future... well.. if you see at the history again.. a lot of things happened and the world changed after that... even some minor things can change the whole world... its called the ripple effect...

i would like to believe that somewhere in the far future a time machine had been created and some irresponsible people use it to alter the history and somewhat results in what we are in now...the fucking pathetic present world...

hmmm.. but again... if you create a time machine... and you go back into the past.. and changed the past... the present time where you are from would definitely changed... and there is a very very tiny possibility that you will still be there to create a time machine... and then if you arent there, then you cannot be able to go back in time and change the past.. and with that the present wouldnt be changed... so.. what am i trying to say..?? well i got lost in my words... ahahahahah...

but well...
we have, in our own hands, somewhat a time machine... a forward time machine... that is we can only go into the future... but we cannot go back... it is called sleep... ahahah.. and rite now i think i would like to be in the future... let set the time around 6 hours into the future.. yeah... i'll be there i hope...! ahahahaha

hahaha..
so i'm a bit gedik today.. i dont know why.. maybe there's something to do with the beautiful moon tonite... ahahah

well...

you, illuminates the nite sky...
you, a loyal companion for the lone hearts..
you, gave shadows to darkness..
and you,
gives me this crazy mellow feelings... ahahaha

mann.....

hmmm... todays sunday... and tomorrow is Monday... i like mondays nowdays.. ahhaha and i kinda hate weekends... yeah... i'll look forward to mondays... shit..

i think im starting the chemical reaction... well perhaps it just starts in me only for now... and i need the main substance for the portion to make it work... guess i have to pour in a little bit of a catalyst so that i can be sure the result wont vary and wont stray far from the empirical expectation...

oh fuck my words... i dont know what i'm talking bout.. try to sound like a fucking nerd... hahahah...

last nite.. went to see Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow... the movie was fun to watch i might say... hahaha.. i like the settings of it.. very Dick Tracy-ish.. ahahaha...

mmmm... have to sleep... hahaha..

hmmm...

have you guys ever felt like this... when you have something cool... and you really wanted to share it with your friends.. but you are afraid that, that something cool will get into the hands of someone thats not cool and they will ruined all the coolness of it..?? aaa... do u get what i'm trying to say..??

ahahaha... well the situation is... in other words.. you are afraid that the thing will be a sell out... its like... when someone whose uncool listened to a music thats cool, then you'll feel like the music becomes uncool.. just becoz of that inappropriate person listens to it...

hmm... what am i pointing at... ahahah.. no point at all... well... basically.. you dont want lame ppl to be in the hype... you just wanted to enjoy it with your good friends... whose not a lamer...

nahh... just ignore it.. they say, the world is cruel... but the earth is just so kind to harbour us all... and what do we do..?? we destroy it... damn humans... ahahahah.. so if we destroy our own harbour then where are we going to stray later.? lost into deep space.?? or disperse into vacuum..?? what about our souls..?? can we find another place later that can bear these parasites of the universe..? of course... the popular belief is that earth is the only place for human beings... and the whole damn big universe, in fact unmeasurable by humans, exist just for the sake of man... how nice... what a very beautiful cover up story... and we all just believe it all and without even try to question it... hahahah

i believe in God... and i believe in miracles.. and i believe in UFO's... and i believe in human encounters with the third kind... i hope that some alien nation would come here and invade us all... so that we can be sure that we are not, and never alone...

and i'm feeling so bad... i think i've done something wrong... i dont know what but i dont like the thought of it... (this is the main point actually... sorry for the crappy intro above..*i have to put these notation so that ppl wont get confused*.. hehhehe)

hmm well... the weekend is coming again... and i'm beginning to hate weekends... arghh...(and also thursdays)

mempunyai jerawat didalam hidung adalah sangat menyakitkan... urghh

waaa... today... was suck... i cant even begin describing it coz it will make me feel miserable... ok i know part of it was my fault.. well perhaps the whole 'suck' thing was my fault... but no i'm not okay with that idea.. i'm not okay about the thought that i've done something that made my day suck... hahahaha... fool!

oh well.. there's nothing can be done bout it.. just me being a troubled mind... and i've got just the thing as the remedy... ok i'm fine now...

oh my troubled mind... and you are the remedy... mmmmmm

i'll do something bout it... i will!

hahaha.. well it seems kinda funny.. its like, i have this kind of urge to just keep on writing in this blog of mine eventho i dont even have something to write about... well.. yeah.. it is funny..

hahaha.. ppl keeps on complaining about my writings.. about me using intricate sentences and how hard to understand what i'm trying to say... well.. its my way of writing.. i dont expect ppl to understand what i'm writing about.. i just want to write something that can make me feel better.. feel satisfied with.. i dont event care whether ppl can understand my point or not.. becoz thats not important at all.. if you guys want to have a meaningful writing or wants to read something that can be digested easily then go get urself a newspaper or a children's fairytale... its much more meaningful, with all the happenings in the world and all the false hope that those fairytales can give you..

hahaha.. the above paragraph sounded very 'kerek' after i read it again... sorry.. but who cares..?

hahaha... you know, sometimes emotion can be cute.. it is wonderful to have such an emotion... well.. afterall, i've been doing fine... perhaps..!

i am working on my new layout.. maybe its time for some changes.. by the way.. i think i am changing.. morphing into something else.. i'm guessing, my life will change.. a major one.. but it depends totally on me... and perhaps.. a mutual change.. me and the other half..

i just cant be on my own.. i just cant make up things in my mind anymore.. i cant just conclude things by myself.. i have to take into consideration bout other things that can help me come to a real conclusion, a reality based conclusion... an assumption with some good physical value... not an abstract fictional delusion that i made up in my imagination...

ppl said, to gain something you have to give something... in fact, to get something precious you have to sacrifice something worthwhile... and for the time i've sacrifice waiting for something to happen, something big and never happened to me before, i think it was very much indeed worthwhile... all of my efforts, to make that something happen before was just a mere acts of desperation... and it was not at all worth it.. for the right thing to happen, you need luck...

man, am i..?

is it my time...? have i spotted my own supernova..?? is it blooming or is it just a false alarm..? i should really think this is it.. just take it or leave it.. ahahahaha... well... i should try my luck.. always..

now we all know, the words were true, in the sappiest songs.. yes yes..

hahahah.. i cant get that song out of my head... been looping that only song in my winamp for like a thousand times already today... dammit.. i dont know what i was doing... hahaha.. pathetic... very!

hmm.. well today is the first day of the fasting month, Ramadhan for this year... and i'm stuck here in mmu... and have to endure one whole month of fasting here... a very hard thing to do.. well.. basically... i have to endure it ... i got no choice...got to get thru it.. hahaha... well i think i'll be doing it gladly... i might miss fasting at home.. sob sob...

aaa.. rite now, i'm thinking.. where i should go for my 'sahur'?... hmmmm

i havent update this blog for a very loooooooong time.. yes.. this words are the usual in my last few posts... damn.. i dont know.. i just dont have the urge to write something.. maybe my mind is occupied enuff.. occupied with some other crappy things... and is not worthwhile to mention here.. like what i'm doing write now..

okay... i'll write something about my life.. i just feel that its more tranquil than before.. its like.. there's no fucking storm what so ever in my mind.. there's no questioning about life or death, or about who(what) am i in this big universe... or questions about my faith.. or my purpose of existing... maybe i'm turning normal.. or maybe i did those things out of boredom or confusion.. and perhaps i become more ignorant than before... and also maybe a major distraction of my attention.. my focus point have shifted and i myself moved on..

hmm... i was thinking... why we have to follow something that is curvy..? rather than a straight line..?? i have a brain and my brain is fucking rotting... hahahhahahaha