Dum Dum!!

First of all, i am happy... in fact i am super duper happy! hahahah... i like this, i like everything about it.. never been this happy before... never been in this kind of happiness before...

I know, the future is scary, but it is scarier if you dont have a future... and that is me... i have no future yet... in a sense... a bright future.. a promising future... mann... i should do something about it...

I am not running from it... i wont! i want to face it..but i am not ready yet... hahaha.. deng..

Hmm... sometimes people can be mean... i mean rude... like, if you're in a supermarket pushing your trolley and suddenly you bumped into someone, both of you will say sorry... its a good thing... both are being polite... typical malaysians... now imagine you're driving and then you nearly hit another car, eventhough unintentionally but chances are you might get some ugly face from the driver or worse you'll get a finger and lots of nasty words... again, typical malaysians... now thats ironic... just what is wrong with cars in malaysia... because somehow, when malaysians hold the steering wheel, they are like possesed by something, something scary and evil... they are not their own polite and mannered self anymore... kinda a split personality epidemic...

Amused i am... coz i've been observing this... its like we treat cars as somekind of living things... coz we are like "tengok keter depan nih, ingat jalan ni bapak dia punye ke?".. hahaha when actually the cars are just mere shells, where real people is inside 'em, and driving 'em... and these people are just normal people, polite and nice and well mannered when they are not driving, and we will be nice to them if they bumped onto us in the supermarket... hahaha... funny it is!....

good... i think i'll try to sleep... i love you dear! i love you!! hahahaha

<3 HuHu....

Bad Luck Day!! Yeah!!

i've gotta write these!! i am gonna write all about it!! i've got it all figured out in my head right now! fuck!! i am not okay!

lots of things happened not according to my plan.. i know! dont say those holy proverb! i know! i know! i'm human and i cant predict whats gonna happen! but fuck! i am not okay!

i should see the signs! lots and lots and lots! but i couldnt do nothing! i dont have the ability to prevent things! fuck! i am not okay!

failed alteration, great ideas but sucky execution, everything is the sign... but i am lost! right now i am not okay! i know i shouldnt feel this but i am feeling it and i wont deny it coz i am sorry... fuck! i am not okay!

this feeling! please take me! let me feel what you want me to feel! and i am falling for it!

haih!! haih!! haih!!! i cant write it at all! i just cant force my fingers to type the word! that word! i wont type it.. stop forcing me! fuck and shit and fucking shit i am not okay and okay is not in me!

hahahah fuck! lala fuck!

Out Of View

i'm back in KB... and we've already planned something to do...
i hope i have lots and lots of money right now so that i can go out and shop till i drop...
yeah! i lurve shopping...
but not in the sense where i just buy things...
but i buy things that i think is needed... at the moment...
it's not strange at all.. it is common...

i think i'm beginning to go crazy with distance... distance is dangerous...
sometimes it kills... i think i will try to find a new way for travelling...
perhaps by folding the map... so that distance is not a problem anymore...

and i hate people who are noisy, talkative, sarcastic only in this cyberspace...
and when they're in the real world, the reality environment, they tend to be quiet and try to be
polite... and they only become rude and cruel and ruthless whenever they hide behind the mask of nicknames... why nicknames?? are you embarassed with your own name?
hahaha stupid macam keldai...

and i hate ultra clever people when they claim they are geniuses...
and i hate ultra stupid people when they say they hate other stupid people...
and i hate to be in the middle of non-fighting quarrel and cold war...

and i hate this feeling of missing you so much...
the thought of you is killing me...
i miss you... wooohooo...

and i'm not licking my own spit... so screw you jealous people!

i am not self-centered, but my brain can only read my own thoughts...

Gnaw: Food of The Gods

No seriously, that's a sci-fi film title.... a story about a lab which was doing a research on growth hormone on vegetables... but something went wrong and a few of the lab rats ate those oversized vegetables and somehow they too grown out of control, and so did their appetite... they turned cannibal and hunt for human flesh... and i'll leave the conclusion to you guys to figure it out... just think about the typical things...

hmmm...
i'm turning into some kind of attention seeker... but not from a lot of people... not from a crowd of people, not from my friends... not from my family... not from my lecturers... but from her... i'm sorry... i'm crazy for your attention... i want you to always set your eyes on me... damn me for feeling like this... not that i'm controlling you, but i just feel unsecure... as if i've done something wrong.... as if i'm boring you up... hahahaha... well maybe this is just my uncanny feeling... you know, i am delusional...

ok... set that aside... happy two month!!! hahahaha nak jiwang!!! so be ready...

i love you so much huda yusoff!!! you know, you make me happy everytime i see you, even when i'm deeply in grief... so please, please always be the one who'll make me feel happy, feel secure and feel belonged... always!!!

sape sape yg kata aku jiwang... yer mmg aku jiwang... kalo tak suka aku jiwang sila gi mampos!! wakakakaka