Huda!!!



I miss her so much!!! Ngeeee!!!!

Van Band

I have a van... an old van... and i want to modify it... so that i can use it to go to the beach... please people.. donate me some money...

I wish... i can travel by folding the map... so that I can be in Subang at her house in her room at this very moment.. and be back here before the sun rise...

I am... a loner... here... in my hot room... and missing my other half so much... while drinking this nestum...

I saw... a big yellow moon just now... and i can almost feel the moon... it is sad i guess... looking down at the earth as if it is missing something...

I miss... I miss her so much... this space, this 3D environtment... is somewhat a restriction... an obstacle that i cannot get through it... I want her... i want to touch her... I miss the sensation... of being around her... of being with her... beside her... damn...

Kepialu and Kelantan

Hi.... my name is apik and i live in Kota Bharu.. right now there's an outbreak of typhoid.. and we are all like, living in fear... a bit too paranoid...

well then, this can make my holiday worst... first of all the only activity that i can do during my holidays is hanging out.... and what more, in kelantan thats the only thing you can do... and now, theres this typhoid thingy and we were advised not to eat out... so there's no point of going out afterall... and that will make my life so boring... damn...

the wheather is very hot this time of the year... there's no rain for a very long time now according to my old man... hot... even at night...

i am rambling about my life.... its not phatetic... far from it... in fact my life is doing great right now... its just that i am missing someone and i felt pretty much lonely... hahaha..

one point to ponder... kelantanese dont really like the idea of parking in the designated parking box... you know, the yellow line box outlining your parking area... the idea is, if you park in the box you'll have to pay for it... theres a parking meter... and if you park out side, you wont be charged.... now thats what i think... and if you happen to park in the box people will assume you'll park there for a long time and so they'll park their cars behind you... and when you come back to your car you'll find someone have double parked... there you go, stuck there when you are actually in a hurry and for obeying the law you get screwed up... maybe afterall, kelantanese is pretty much rebellious... even in such a small situation...

i want to dream...

The End of 2004/2005 Academic Year

haih... so here i am... sitting alone on my bed facing my pc typing in this blog of mine... so its another end of the academic year...

well even though basically i am still at the same level in terms of academic, that i am still a student that have the littlest chance of completing my degree, the fact that i am too lazy to discuss about my studies, the fact that my studies doesnt reflect my other achievement, the fact that i dont have any achievement at all, in terms of normal university student should have... but however, i think this academic year changed me a lot...

yes, im transforming again... without any plan... and yeah... surprise is exciting, exhilarating...

all the drama, the fun, the tense, the excitement, the emotion that i have endured, seen or heard this year was really, really a great experience.... hmmm... thats all...

Champagne Supernova

i really think humans are not that great at all... i dont think they can build weapons that can manipulate the environment... like, controlling earthquake, or cast droughts on their enemy countries...

okay... we think that with dreams, we can achieve anything, given that we put our effort in it... but, can we build another sun? you see, dreams are just dreams and we should be realistic... to be able to define humans limitation is very important... and to be able to accept your own limitation is somewhat, life changing...

if, in any case possible, that i can make another turn, then i think i'll take that turn... i've done nothing but wrong turns and it wont harm me if i take another one... for i hope that i can find my way back...

five years in a blink... how is that possible? well it is! and i think i know it better than others.... i am pretty sure i learn nothing academic in this five years of my university life... damn! i'm just wasting my potentials!!!

hope... is just another fancy word for dream... so, lets sleep and hope....

Bleeder.

i am wondering... do hearts have tounge? coz i've been monologuize since i can remember things... and people enunciate using tounge... i know everything i feel about myself, is somehow felt by others too... because we are just humans and thats what humans do... to speak to oneself is one thing... and to even have a discussion with yourself is like schizophrenic...

today, after a long hiatus, i again had the discussion with myself... am puzzled... i know its a sickness... and the thought of i've recovered makes me happy... but now it came back and knocked my muted innerself...

the road, i've gone thru it... and i've leave it far behind, lost into this thick jungle...where i think i can bury myself and have a nice solitude... but no, isolation is a phobia for me... i cant be alone... i need her here with me... in this future....

freaks... and uniqueness... conquers the eye... buzzing sound of lightning never silence the rainy night sky in this dry land of hearts.... fuck me coz i am not feeling okay right now and i dont know why... as if i am in 2003... the world is round yet the humans have hands and legs... they walk in straight line but curvy footsteps can be traced back to their aparments... i am blabbing without a point...

do time really move forward? come to think of it... the definition of time is not accurate... if we are expecting the end of the world then the time is not expanding, it actually decreasing and we got little left to spend... think, at first we have a whole bunch of time, and we've almost used it all up... and right now we are at the very last drop of time... so time is actually lessening... so we shouldnt count time in increasing manner... we should count it backward... like from 10 to 0... like from 20 million years to 1 second before the final moment... bye!

Lazybum!

ouh.. i'm lazy... and actually i am not in the mood of writing...
anyhow... i'll write something...

for today is... the second day of the month... so here goes... ahahaha... (alert: jiwangness ahead!)

HAPPY FOUR MONTH DEAR!

yeah... it was great!! and LOVE is a beautiful four letter word...

think thats all.. i'll write later.... coz i'm usually not active during the day...