is there anything left for me..??

when you think that you can hide the feeling, but actually you cant, it felt like everything tumbles upon you... i thought that i've managed to get it all over and let it go.. but today it's proved that i still cant.. i try to hide my feeling but maybe it still slipped out unnoticed... urgh.. please.. i dont want to feel like this... ever again.. i'll have to learn more... learn to totally let it go away... i hate myself for not sticking to my own decision... how easy for me to disobey my own will... how i melt when it's in front of me... it's something i cant calculate using my brain.. maybe the best solution is to shut every means of contact... either physically, mentally or technologically.. hmmm...

what am i doing by typing all these..?? fucked up..