so it is my birthday... 22 years of life already...

and as always, i cant assign something meaningful to it... no significance of it...

it is just another date...

thanks!

i was wondering why we look so sad everyday... whats wrong with the air we breath that make us so pathetic.. even for a slightest thing we can turn ourself into the most saddest living thing on earth... or perhaps we are overdosed with excitement and entertainment that make us sad..?? becoz we are able to eliminate all the feeling inside and so we have to create a situation for us to be use as excuses when we want to have more fun... so we create the sadness in our ownself and feel liberated to go out and look for amusement... we are just plain hedonistic... hedonism lifestyle is not to have excessice amusement with life but it is a tool to create sadness... yes that is it... the more happy you are the sadder you'll be...

life must have the contrast... if not it'll be monotonous... happy life must always have sad... the more sad you are the more happy you'll be... again try to rephrase it backward...

ohhh i just got back from my 'study week' at home... heheheh... so i went home coz i miss my mom, plus i ought to attend my very first wedding of one of my close friends...

oh i'm not gonna write about any other stuff then whats going on in my mind right now...

here goes...

holly shit... my friends are getting married... we are 22 already... i guess its normal but i just cant accept this reality just yet... i'm feeling like just now we all had those times together hanging around and all... but now... they all seems to step into another realm... the realm of adulthood... and where am i..??

getting married... something that is very far away from my mind right now... getting married is something like taking the most difficult decision in life... something very important that need a very long contemplation... you have to assess yourself... and you have to assess the environment... and what more, you have to assess your partner... you have to consider how are you going to give it all to your partner and expect that your partner to give it all to you... getting married is not just about being in love and sharing everything, it is about giving your life, your hope and your dream to your partner and vice versa...

oh... i dont think that i am ready to do just that... i wont get married just for the sake of love... not that i dont believe in that, but i just dont think that is enough... love wont be enough... love is just passion and lust, whilst marriage is more than that...

so to be able to achieve a decision to get married means that you are already confident with your life...

heck i really wish that they will stay together till the end... and have a great family...

and where am i..??? where the fuck am i..??

never mind that... i still have August to enjoy.. yeh yeh yeh... but exams is lurking... damn...

i have nothing to write... but i just want to welcome the month of August... and with that to announce also the end of July... my favaourite month of the year o dear August... hahahaha.. i'm all happy about it... woot woot uhuhuhuhu yeh yeh yeh...